Your government recognizes that the idea of garage storage is becoming very popular today and so to that end we offer some garage organization tips that we hope inform you as well as enlighten you as to some of the dangers of improper storage. We hope that you take our garage organization tips to heart and remember that your government is always watching so sit up straight and stop chewing that gum!

Our first very practical garage organization tip is that nuclear warheads do not store well in above ground garages. We understand that as the former states of the Soviet Union continue to sell off their nuclear weapons in an attempt to offset their rising debts that some Americans may come into possession of some of these artifacts. Well, take it from us that they do not store well at all and if you do find yourself in possession of an old Soviet nuclear warhead then our best garage organization tip is to call the government right away. Better safe than sorry!

Don’t Be The Crazy Cat Lady

We at the government understand that cats are cute but we strongly urge you not to horde cats in your garage in an attempt to give them a temporary place to live until you can find them a home. This garage organization tip is important because we are getting a lot of calls from cat owners wanting to know why their cats are disappearing and we suspect that the crazy cat lady from each neighborhood is storing them away in her garage. Kitties are cute but as a serious garage organization tip we suggest that you do not horde them in your garage because they may actually belong to someone and we are frankly tired of handling calls from frantic cat owners every night.

We at the government understand the need to feel safe but in our final garage organization tip we are going to ask that you stop stockpiling weapons in your garage in anticipation of the coming conflict with the terrorists. The government has the terror problem under control and random citizens stocking up on anti-aircraft weapons can make communities nervous.

We at the government appreciate your attention to these helpful garage organization tips and remind you that we are watching you, er, watching out for you so sleep well and thank you for your time and we appreciate all of your efforts in making our community and our country the absolute best it can be.